I know, I know. I promised I would be back soon and that was almost 3 months ago. *Sigh* What have I done since then? Gain weight, mainly. Well, maybe not gain, but certainly not lose.
However, last week we started a Biggest Loser at my office. I am certainly one of the largest people here, so I knew I would participate. I am on the team "Legal Losers." Clever, huh? We also have the Fat Fighters, Diet Defenders, and Habeas Porkus. I know, we're pathetic. But we think we're hilarious! Anyway, I weighed in last week and was almost at my highest weight ever. It made me disgusted. But I still only felt the motivation to do things about half-way. I haven't exercised at all, but I did really try to watch what I ate and watch my portions. And the result? I weighed in today and I've lost 3.5 lbs in the last week.
On one hand, I'm obviously very excited. On the other hand, I am incredibly embarassed. I mean, I really only half-assed it this week so if I was able to lose 3.5 lbs, that shows me just how bad I've gotten. I'm DESPERATELY trying to just use this as the kick in the ass I need to get me back on track, for good. But I'm so pissed at myself for getting into this position in the first place that it's hard to try to get motivated. I think this feeling is what has kept me from really trying to get back on track before now in the first place. I really just haven't wanted to acknowledge how far off track and off the wagon I've gotten. Cause then I have to deal with all these emotions and all this anger at myself.
But if I'm going to have to deal with that sooner or later, then it might as well be sooner so I can start trying to get the weight off. So here we go. For real this time.